He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
