i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
