sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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