well I can't set my house on fire every night
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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