She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
