but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
