question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
