I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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