I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My balls are so social today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
