she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
