What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
