I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
