So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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