Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
