Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
