The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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