Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
