a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
