drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
