the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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