whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
