my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize