Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize