he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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