Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
