So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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