I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
