Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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