Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize