everyone is single if you try hard enough
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
