11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need help removing her.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize