he wants to bone in the snuggie
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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