I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
