I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
