I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
