they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
