College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
