normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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