i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
