Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
