He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
