I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
how does that bad decision feel?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
