if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My dick has a subreddit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
