I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
