This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
