doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The maid of honor just puked.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
