Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
is that a dick in a sweater?
and you fell through a lawn chair
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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