my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
