.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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