i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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