people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize