I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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