a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
