Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
