508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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