could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
