you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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