I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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