You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
