Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize