i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
