I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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